Some of you may or may not know that I although I am the managing director of Good Sense Conflict Resolution Training I am also a writer for the Alchemy For Managers Project. I write the training sections on violence and aggression as these are key areas of my expertise.
Within the project there is a particular section on listening which is something I have covered quite a bit on the blog. I have read this section closely and I fully endorse what it is saying as it is very similar to what we discuss in our polite model.
Whilst I was reading the listening section, I stumbled across a great checklist which I felt I had to share with you as I can relate to a lot of what is inside it and I am sure you will do too. I think it is the next best content on listening since my post on the listening stick. I have enclosed the checklist below but if you want more information you can see the whole section here.
I do not listen because I am…
- Rehearsing my reply while the other person is still talking
- Worrying in case the other person won’t accept my response
- Getting impatient for them to finish so I can start talking
- Trying to do something practical and listen at the same time
- Not interested in what they are saying
- Thinking about something else while they are speaking
- Thinking that I know what they are going to say before they say it
- Dismissing what they are saying as irrelevant to me before hearing what they say
- Finishing off their sentences
- Getting bored and switching off
- Thinking they are going too slowly to keep me interested
- Wanting to speed things up by interrupting or talking about something else
- Talking over the other person
- Assuming that they don’t know what they’re talking about before they speak
- Fidgeting and appearing not to be listening.
I am sure most of us do at least some of these things on a regular basis, I say that becaues I do too. Just because I am a conflict resolution trainer doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes when listening. The flipside of that is I then understand why something has gone wrong and I can correct it. You don’t know what you don’t know!.